Dear All,
I haven’t blog for so long, from April my Boss went back to Japan and with the new management, I just got sucked in by work and got burnt out. My health started failing me and I didn’t realize it, I just kept on working. It was until when I visited the TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) doctor for the body aches and pain on the left side of my body that she warned me that my blood is so clogged that I’m at risk of getting a stroke. She did some cupping and blood letting. Ya it sounds really scary, and I was really scared. But thank God it’s not as scary or painful as it sounds. And it worked, the pain in my left arm subsided. What she said was like a wake up call for me, and the next day, on Friday, I went to my new boss and told him I need to take one day leave on Monday and it was a long weekend. (Well I told him what the doctor said and that I really needed rest)
My hand few days after the blood letting. Pain already subsided but there’s a blood clot under the skin if you look close enough
Things fall into place nicely. It just happens my parents have already planned a trip to genting and booked a room. So all I had to do was purchase coach ticket. My dad lovingly offered to rush down to the travel agency on Friday evening to get tickets for me, as I have Christian cell group on that night. And Hubby woke up in the wee hours to send me to the bus station so I can make it for the 630 am coach.
I got a Malaysia 30GB SIM card planning to binge on this Chinese drama that I’ve been watching on YouTube and brought my sketch book to paint and just chill and rest. Well That kind of didn’t worked out. When I got that the YouTube video is not licensed to play in Malaysia region 😅I even downloaded DramaFever thinking I can watch some other Korea Dramas but nope it doesn’t work that too, oh Well. At least it gave me plenty of chance to rest and just spend time with my parents
Genting has changed a lot, but since this is not a travel blog, I won’t write here but focus on my story. But I urged you guys to go if you have a chance. There is even Genting Premium Outlets midway at the mountain (reachable by cable car) and I had a great time looking at the fashion labels, and checking out the styles, getting inspiration (albeit a little off-season)
My parents of course went to the Casino, they loved the old Genting Casino with the Smokey environment, easier jackpot machines. My dad is particularly in love with a horse racing section, where for a bet, you can see horses running and he was parked for the 2 days that except for the half day trip to Premium outlet and Chin Swee Temple. Given that he is having last stage cancer, I just want him to enjoy himself, but of course we will appear at meal times to bring him somewhere to eat.
And I’m grateful that he is still mobile and thought the doctor said that it’s 2-5 yrs life span for people with his illness. It’s his third year and he is still going strong, often surprising the oncologist. I think his positive mindset helped him a lot. To him this whole cancer thing is just like flu. And I don’t know if he is saying it so we won’t worry or he really thinks so. But either way his stats looks good.
So after the short break I was well rested. But soon again I was sucked into work. I was overloaded, running a global project which involves liaising with people halfway round the globe at late hours and having to do my day to day work. I wanted to feedback to my new boss but he was absorbed in other pressing matters, having just came on board and was hardly around.. my peer who became my dotted line manager was also not helping much
I was due to fly out on Sun for a long planned family trip to Beijing with my sis family, my parents and my hubby. We decided to go, as we don’t know when my father can be well enough to travel again. The idea of him being on the Great Wall made him happy and he even told the oncologist, he is going to be a 好漢 loosely translated as a good man. As there is a saying in Chinese, you will only be a good man if you reach the Great Wall.
Then came Friday just before I was due to fly off. I woke up with a bad sore throat, but I had already had back to back meetings planned. One was with the new customer, and the second meeting was with a VP of Singapore agency, so I can’t reschedule. So I remember going and praying hard I can survive the day. My dotted line manager seeing how unwell I looked, told me to go home after the second meeting. But at 2pm when I was about to go home, I had a Priority one incident (my customer network went down due to a power trip, it was month end and they really need the network to work and the servers to come back alive. And I found myself pulled into fighting that fire till 5pm.. it could have gone on longer, but at 5pm, my own company network went down. (must be some unlucky day, as there was a blackout in business district as well)
And it was bad, usually I could work on my mobile when the network is down, but this time nothing worked. We had to switched to using WhatsApp chat group to continue communicating and fighting the fire. My engineers rushed down and managed to get some of the systems up by 9pm. And I was feeling despondent, as I really wanted to clear my backlog before I flew out. I texted my sis, whom I was supposed to meet for dinner, cheekily replied maybe the network just want you to relax.
So with nothing working, I had no choice but to leave for the day and went to Sentosa to meet my sister earlier for dinner. Dinner was great and I think some window shopping, trying on stuff really allowed me to disconnect from work and just relax. The next day Saturday I was back to workaholic mode, clearing my backlog and working till noon. I bought some cough medicine from the pharmacy just in case. But By early Sunday morning when I was at the airport, I felt the beginnings of a bad cold and in between sleeping on the SIA A380, I was just praying I don’t want to be sick on a holiday we all been planning for so long.
But things are not to be. Landing in Beijing, though I think the air was relatively cleaner than in the past, it wreak havoc on my sensitive respiratory system. I broke out in rashes on my face daily and my phlegm was green half the time. I was depending stubbornly on the pharmacy medicine I bought, until my sis remarked that I should increase the dosage. As in she usually take 4 tablets at one go and I was taking 1 tablet for the past few days. So I increased the dosage and lo and behold at least the phlegm became yellow 😂
We went to the Great Wall on the second day. It was breathtaking. We chose the Mutianyu stretch which have less tourists and a ski cable car up the wall and you can take a luge ride back down.
Once up that, Hubby was all raring to hike and took off on his own covering few stations in one morning (its a few km between each station) I tried to follow him initially, but the flu and the thin air just compelled me to walk slowly on my own. Taking in the white butterflies and the lovely scenery, albeit a little sunny and hot
This is my selfie at the Great Wall. I don’t usually look that good, it’s just a very good camera app. So much so that my colleague who recently saw my profile pic (I used it on my WhatsApp) actually asked me to update my pic and don’t use some old picture 😅
This was also the last time my complexion was better as after that the rashes came.
It is truly majestic and the photos don’t do it justice. I tried to get a photo of the butterflies but it won’t let me ^^ the air was thin at times being at high altitude and I am grateful I brought my inhaler along, having to stop at times since the flu has evolved into coughing and what’s not.
Anyway, it was great, nothing worked in Beijing, no WhatsApp no email, no Facebook or Instagram and even sms messages were spotty at times. I was offline most of the time and daily went back to hotel in the late afternoon to take medicine and sleep till dinner time.
Of course back in hotel with the WiFi on, sometimes I will still reply urgent emails.
I remember one relaxing afternoon where I was in a bookstore and just drawing and saw this amazing Japanese origami book that I wanted to incorporate in my fashion designs, when my WhatsApp suddenly came alive. And my pre-sales was asking me about customer appointments and stuff.
Well apparently that mall’s WiFi must have some vpn built in and WhatsApp was workable there. It’s a gd and bad thing I guess. I missed those days 6 yrs ago where I can forget my iPhone 4 at home and just live the day without a phone. But now it’s almost impossible. Mobility and the Internet of Things is both a boon and a bane. Being so connected made me hard to get disconnected from work. It’s also why I am writing this post.
The backlog back to work was a lot like few hundred emails… and I went to see the doctor on Sat after I touched down and didn’t take medical leave. I mean it’s just not that good to take medical leave after you have already went on one week holiday.. so I “heroically” went to work on Monday. And of course without proper rest and a punishing schedule (I am also preparing for my N1 Japanese language proficiency test next Sun) my body just gave up. I developed severe chest pains at 2-3am 2 days ago. Went to Raffles hospital on Thursday. It was madness, I went to work at 9 am for an important meeting (my colleague was helping me for some RCA report, due to an escalation caused by our vendor and my dotted line manager decision to use that vendor despite me advising against it. So I already informed my colleague that I had to go hospital right after the meeting.
What made me disappointed was that even on my way to hospital, my colleagues was still messaging me in the WhatsApp group reminding me to do the report… we had another group that was facing some issue and in conversation with the engineer for a solution. And I remember saying I was going for my chest x-ray soon and I really need to off the phone. It was a vast difference when I had my ex boss who will help me and cover when I am sick or busy.
And with all these barrage of messages I turned on the flight mode several times, just to get some peace. After the doctor diagnosed the chest pains are caused by chest infection and I was put on 2 days medical leave and a course of antibiotics. And currently pending my blood tests results. I went home took my medicine, and slept till the night. But the moment I on my phone, it was my colleagues messaging me to do quote and send emails to clients.
At that moment, I felt I am not valued in the company. I could die and my colleagues may just send a wreath and that’s it. To Clarify, it’s just 2 superiors that behave so insensitively. The rest of my colleagues are wonderful people and we worked well as a team.
It also got me thinking what I blogged previously, that on my deathbed, I won’t be thinking how much work I have yet to do, but rather how much time I didn’t spend with my family, so I have decided to quit soon.
I already have an offer. I was approached few weeks ago by a headhunter for a role which interest me , but for the longest time, I wanted to stay longer in a company and I do appreciate my colleagues.
Of course I am not going to do something as drastic as quit and study and switching to fashion like the last time. But this time I really want to do something. A Taiwanese lyricist once said 「若不追逐夢想，它永遠只會是你和你朋友之間談話的話題罷了」 which loosely translates to if you don’t chase your dreams, it will forever be just a conversational topic among friends.
Having read the book “So good they can’t ignore you” by Cal Newport, I have also learnt that chasing your dreams is not just quitting your main source of income and plunge into the dream and “passion”
Now 4 years after starting this blog, I have learn about the Craftsmen mentality, the need to hone my craft and also always to sought feedback from people around me.
Today I am happy to share that I am launching my Instagram and Facebook page finally. The Instagram account is Ashiu_Atelier
If you like all things fashion, Zakka or an aspiring couturier like me with a deep love for Haute Couture) Though I think at most I can only do Pret A porter, but we are all entitled to dream big right? :)), then please follow me on Instagram. ^_^
I will put up some of my work and fashion. Illustrations and all things fashion, draping, pattern making on this learning journey. It’s seems like a tiny step but to me maybe a big leap out of my comfort level.
At some point, I will launch the gowns I have always been wanting to make and make my several capsule collections a reality.
I want to end off with a quote I saw in L’Officiel magazine while at Raffles Medical. This singer from One Direction said ” I used to be wearing knock-off Versaces when I was growing up and never dreamt that one day, I will be designing a collection for Versace.”
Nothing is impossible for God
Dare to Dream one day at a time
Duc in Altum
Journey of a Corporate bot switch to Fashion World 
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